Abstracted21

Blessed To Be A Blessing

2009-05-15T19:21:00.000-07:00

i have been so blessed this past week that it's just too hard to keep it to myself. i came to Youth With a Mission (YWAM) with a lot of questions and the desire to experience God in a way i never had before. and i tell you, God does go beyond our expectations and the Discipleship Training Week is more than enough proof for it. if at first, i wasn't sure why God has brought me there, now i know, it is to know Him deeper and walk with Him closer.

each lecture (hearing God's voice, worship, intercession, fear of the Lord, father heart of God, relationships, pride and humility, faithfulness and how to study the bible) was like a piece of puzzle, being connected together to fit God's design of revealing Himself to us. the lectures have given me a deeper understanding of who God is, and who i am in His sight. he's my Lord and Savior, but more than that He's my Father and He loves me as his daughter, flaws and all. i have learned more about God in the 5 days i stayed there than my many years of being a christian (*11 years). i have learned that knowing God is more than just head knowledge, it is the passionate application of our faith, obedience to His call, and that is to make Him known.

i usually feel homesick whenever i'm away from my family, but miraculously, i've never felt an ounce of homesickness there at all. and it is because i have gained another family--God's one big happy family. everyone is just so approachable, always willing to listen and share their insights to my numerous questions. ate leah, ate mardie, ate merly, ate kit, kuya benjie, kuya jeron, kuya roland and ate dang were just some of the people that God used greatly in my life. i believe God speaks and sometimes, it is through people like them. and i'm happy to announce that my long time of praying for a discipler has been finally answered. i thank ate dang for such a great privilege to be my mentor. i thank God for every staff who inspires us to grow in our walk with Christ. i know that God is truly amazing because of people like them.

to my DTW classmates, you'll always be here in my heart. thank you for all the stories, the laughter and the fun times. we all have different backgrounds but God placed us together for a purpose. i never had my "nose bleed" so much for speaking in english whenever i try to start a conversation with my Korean classmates Eun Ji, Jun Young, Ate Mihee and Pastor Lim. haha. though i won't be able to mention all of your names, you are all special to me.

DTW has been a time for many firsts. first street evangelism, first time that God gave me the holy boldness to proclaim his revelation in isaiah 49 and my first large children's outreach. i know the angels are rejoicing for each soul that accepted Christ that day. the greatest gift i'll take from this whole week is the passion to "KNOW GOD AND MAKE HIM KNOWN." to plant one seed at a time. to have a bold heart to preach the gospel by which we were saved. it is the word of truth, and it has the power to bring life to those who hear it. we are part of a great commission, to proclaim the good news for the expansion of His kingdom. Isaiah 49 speaks to us that "it is not enough for us to be his servants...we are to be a light to the gentiles to the ends of the earth."

this is an unforgettable experience, a priceless experience of a lifetime. i hope someday God will lead me back to the YWAM and be adopted as their kid. thank you Lord for giving me the best week of my life!

I Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared to those who love Him."

"I will live to carry your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
I will give with the life that I'd been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your Name"

The Power of Your Name -- Lincoln Brewster

You need Jesus, my friend...we all do...

Lord Jesus, i need You. i confess that i am a sinner and that i have been running my life on my own and for myself. but i quit as of today. i believe that You died on the cross to pay for all my sins. i ask You to come into my life as my Lord and Savior. i humbly accept Your gift of eternal life. Please help me live my life Your way starting today. Lord, from now on, I'm Yours. Amen. If you followed that prayer and accepted Christ in your life, congratulations! You are now part of God's family and have been given eternal life...and this is the most important relationship there is.

kwento lang :)

2009-02-19T03:47:00.000-08:00

one more week to go! pahinga na. haha :)

our most dreaded defense on business incubation wasn't as terrible as i thought it would be. in fact, ms. boq and her accountant were more than satisfied at the progress of our business for the past year. we were able to reach the required 20k net profit--an impossible feat if it weren't for God's grace.

kate finally gave our share from the earnings. and i could not believe the amount i got. haha. it was more than what i expected to receive. i remember telling myself a few years back kasi that i would open my own bank account before i graduate from college. and it did come true! haha. :) i was so happy when the teller handed me my bank passbook. all the hardwork paid off. ganun pala feeling when you receive your first hard-earned income--mapapangiting aso ka haha :) again, i owe it all to Him.

also had my last exam on taxation. pauso talaga yung prof ko, mala "are you smarter than a fifth grader" ang format ng exam. we were given three "cheats" -- save, copy and sagot ng nakararami. kamusta naman yun? :) anyways, i'm gonna miss taxation pati si atty. marc hahah :)

after the exams, all of us headed for the toga fitting. as i placed the toga on, it dawned on me na "oo nga, malapit na..." but i'm still at a point na i'm still not sure what God has in store for me in the future--yung specific plans nia. whatever it is, i just know i can count on Him. it won't do me any good if i worry about the future kaya nagpakasaya muna ko. haha. had lunch with my brothers at jack's loft. and one thing hasn't changed--i'm still their laughing stock. i always get teased for my big hands kasi and madz, yana and ate em even named my hands after "flash bomba" haha. ganun nila ko ka-love. :) i'm gonna miss them soooo much. haay...

night! :)

odd one out

2009-02-13T05:53:00.000-08:00

had a very late dinner with my brothers at gerry's grill libis last night right after the comex awarding. kate, jena, madz and pam brought their boyfriends with them and so i felt like i was the odd one out. i ended up being their official photographer and the night's laughing stock. haha. but twas really fun. madz was kind enough to drive me and jena home. it was the first time in four years that someone from my college friends dropped by at our house. it has become a regular joke that i live far from civilization and last night i was able to prove them wrong. haha.

i made jena spend the night over at my house, finally! haha. a sleepover has been in our plans for a very long time and finally before mag-graduate nagawa din. :)

the following morning we went to Playground, our supplier in timog, to pick up our orders for the couple shirts. nakakabadtrip. we were there at around 11 a.m. and they finished our shirts at 8 p.m. the part that sucks the most is that we had to make our customers wait until the next day for our deliveries, eh hello?! valentines na by that time. buti nalang the staff at playground were apologetic naman so there was no use for kamalditahan on our part. haha. ang hirap magnegosyo. kaloka. but it was the best learning experience ever. and good news, we were able to reach a net of 20k which means pwede na kami grumaduate! thank you Lord! :)

so three more weeks to go, rehearsals na for grad. there are still tons of unfinished school work but i'm savoring every single minute doing it. i'm going to miss the pressure of making it to every deadline. for four years parang dun umikot ung buhay ko. haha. enough of the senti mode. haaay... so i guess this is good...night :)

Crazy Weekend

2009-02-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

went to divi on a rainy friday afternoon with flip flops on. i didn't know that it was gonna rain that hard. my gosh. amputek. my feet had mud all over and kate was joking na parang lupa na yung paa ko kaya pwede na pagtaniman ng halaman. haha. super haggard and super pagod. but the night wasn't over for us yet. we were supposed to finish the web site we have to pass for our e-onine class but we ended up having a bible study instead. i did miss our "quality time" and it was the best moment to catch up. sumobra ata yung "catching up" kaya we barely had time to rest before waking up again at half past five in the morning to prepare for an early conference at the Asian Institute of Management.

i was disappointed when francis kong didn't show up for the event. bummer tlga. he was the only reason why i wanted to be there. i once heard him speak at one of our org's conference two years ago and i think he is one of the best motivational speakers around. nevertheless, the whole conference was still inspiring thanks to mr. rommel juan and professor jun bernardo of AIM. the conference wrapped up at around 1 in the afternoon. i was so drained after the event, tapos nagka-problem pa sa manufacturer ng couple shirts na business namin. kaloka.

pambawi nalang talaga pag sunday. one of my students in sunday school returned to church after two weeks. i was kinda depressed when he decided to attend another church kaya when i saw him para kong nabuhayan uli. the kids and i welcomed him back and i was like "awwww" when i heard him say "dito na lang ako" huhu. tears of joy :)

syempre my sunday won't be complete without going to camachile for our cell group. we started with a short devotion before going to our usual round of praying on the street. we talked about holding on to our mission of serving him amid discouragements and hardships. at the end of the day, what matters most is that we have followed his will. some of our attendees weren't able to show up during our session but God sent 9 new comers in their place. we studied "you are not an accident," the second chapter of the purpose driven life. one soul accepted Christ. i bet the angels are rejoicing in heaven. and God was probably smiling too. :)

and ok na uli kami. so that's the best part. everything i've been through this whole week became more bearable. :)

p.s. i'm feeling a little bit groggy because i've been putting junk into my system this past week, i've been all over fast food joints for breakfast, lunch and even dinner. i need super colon cleanse. haha :)

nytie :)

"The Talk"

2009-01-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

i recently "re-connected" with my former classmate from my antipolo high school. we never really clicked back then because i found him mayabang, mahangin etc... (at ako daw masungit. haha) it was only last year when we both found out we're christians and so it made it easier for us to talk. i'm just amazed at what God has been doing in him for the past years. he's part of an organization called the180degrees which is a group of young people from different evangelical churches formed to do missions through music. check out http://www.the180degrees.org/ for more info.

they've done uber cool stuff like mission trips to Japan and other countries. and this year, he invited me to the launching of their band to be held at gcf marikina. all these, he was juggling with bible school and a course on i.t. how on earth could anyone do that?! i'm sure God makes these all possible for Him.

but something in the conversation struck me the most. he asked me what my course was and if i had any plans of entering the ministry. so, i told him it was entrepreneurship and that my course was a far cry from what i'd be doing if ever i go into ministry. and he replied...

HINDI.

and then he went on talking about Moses and his staff. he said Moses was a shepherd for 40 years before God called him (that staff sure came in handy within those years). When Moses questioned God on how will he be able to lead them out of Egypt, God asked him: "what is in your hands" and to it Moses replied, "a staff".

he continued by saying that the staff symbolizes Moses' work as a shepherd. same thing with our lives. God can use us as is--who we are and what we are. whether we're doctors, businessmen, students etc. God can make use of our jobs, positions and circumstance to make Him known. we just have to pray for ways to stretch out our influence for Him.

i was dumbfounded because i never really thought of it that way. i have this notion that entering the ministry means giving up everything. maybe God has other plans. i still don't know. i'm still waiting. but i know it wasn't a coincidence that led us to that talk. i'm just happy i found another brother in Christ who inspires me to step out of my comfort zone and pursue greater and Godly things in life. *so thank you, mr. quevedo :)*

Jericho March

2009-01-24T20:04:00.000-08:00

it's amazing to see God's plan unfold right before our eyes. my youth mates and i spent the entire afternoon roaming the streets of Camachile (near Ciudad Grande) in groups of two to pray for God's revival in that area. we're no bigshot evangelists nor missionaries but we believe we can conquer that place for Him through our secret weapon -- prayer.

the original plan was just to dedicate the place for Him but, through His grace, we were able to have our first breakthrough. God opened one of our youth's relative's house for the group to share the word. five teens joined the gathering and sharie led the group in studying life's most meaningful relationship. we then broke up into pairs to pray for the newcomers.

i had the wonderful opportunity to talk to one of the newcomers about her relationship with Christ. she told me she had accepted Christ long before but has become sidetracked with all of life's busyness that she seldom had time for Him. deep in my heart i felt a certain kind of sadness that she was not able to grow in her faith deeper. but i believe God has set that time for her to recommit her life to Him--and that is all that matters.

i'm blown away by how He has worked during that entire afternoon. surely, our bodies were tired but our spirits were more than refreshed. it was our group's first taste at the harvest field and i pray that He'd continue to bless His work in us (and all of His workers). To God be ALL the glory!

P.S. They all promised to attend church with us this Sunday. :)

Help us pray for the harvest field...

an inquisition of faith

2009-01-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

i went to school for a mock job interview this morning. i was feeling quite tense in a way because i don't like interviews of any kind. i entered room 207 and sat on the empty seat across the interviewer. he greeted me with a warm smile and then began the "interrogation."

i thought the interview would be purely about career stuff but it turned out to be more like a discourse on faith. i was bombarded with questions like: do you believe in hell?, do atheists who perform good things still go to hell?, if i meet a Buddhist, will i try to convert him?. i didn't want to sound as if i was lecturing on the topic but i did tell him about the great commission and how people no matter how good they are are still condemned if they don't receive Christ as their personal Lord and Savior.

here was a man of his late twenties asking a young girl about faith. i felt compassion for his soul and i wanted very badly to make him understand how it is like to have Christ in his life but his wall of defense was up. he said there are many bad things brought about by religion today. i felt unsatisfied about how our conversation ended but i believe it is up to God to talk to Him. i really wished we were in a different situation. there is nothing i can do but to pray for that special time when salvation will be upon his life.

i remember praying hours before the inteview for Him to use me in any way He sees fit. and when i think about the events of this morning, i can't help but be astounded by the way He answered my prayer. i know i haven't done much for Him by the way things turned out but i hope i have sown a seed in the heart of that man for him to seek God.

help me pray for him, please...

Romans 8:37

2009-01-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

sometimes, i find it hard to hear from God. i feel as though i am not worthy for Him to even speak to me. i feel a certain distance from Him eventhough i talk to Him all day long. but i have realized that it is my feeling of inadequacy that is creating the gap between us. he wants to talk to me, but my heart is not prepared to listen. he has proven this point consistently through this past week.

--flashback--

we were asked by our youth president, sharie, to think of our youth group's theme for this year during our personal devotion time. every night i would read sections from Joyce Meyer's book, "In Pursuit of Peace" for my devotion. i came upon this verse, Romans 8:37 which says, "Amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him who loved us." i immediately typed it on my fone for reference.

again, my feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness was taking its effect on me. at the back of my mind, i was having doubts whether He wants that verse for our youth's theme. so i just continued to pray for it.

i really had no plans of telling sharie about the verse. come saturday, i found myself blurting out the verse to her. and it was amazing how God confirmed to her that it was to be our youth's theme for this year.

when i meditate on that verse, i begin to trust God more deeply. the world says that 2009 will be a hard year for all of us but God says in His word that we are victorious conquerors through Him who loved us. i gain a sense of peace that whatever this world throws at me, i have a God who will cover me by His hands and will save me. the world creates fear in our hearts but God's word banishes all the fear away.

i know it's not that easy to surrender everything to Him but i believe His grace is sufficient in every area of our life. trusting God requires a bold step in our part. only when we take this step of faith will we see God's ultimate work unfold in our lives.

Good night!

Beginning in an End

2008-12-29T04:33:00.000-08:00

i spent the whole night writing letters to everyone in our youth group. as i was writing, i was reminded of how 21 months of my term have passed so quickly. i remember how unprepared my heart and mind was when i was "pushed" into that position. i was overwhelmed with the fear that i am not good enough and that i won't be able to perform the duties the job requires. in my mind, it was all about working to meet everyone's expectations. little did i know that God was transforming my man-pleasing heart. He was consistent in telling me that it's not about getting the approval of people or hearing their accolade for a job well done that matters, it's about pleasing him and making him smile.

i must admit that i have made a lot of mistakes and there are some things i wish i would have done differently. but, i am sure we have learned a lot as a team and as brothers and sisters in Christ. together, we took little steps to gradual maturity in our walk with Him. together, we have seen God moving powerfully to provide, bless, perform miracles and change lives. it was in a sense a "roller-coaster ride."

they are more than just random people--they are my family. and serving them has been the greatest privilege He has given me. i hope i have touched their lives just as they have touched mine. in that short span of time, i have learned a lot more about myself, His ministry, their lives and the greatness of the God we are serving. i have also realized the importance of working as a team and acknowledging that our success is all about Him. i know God is not yet finished in molding each of our lives. I believe He has great plans for our youth and He will use Sharie mightily in our group.

As i always say, this is just the start...

Time to Party!

2008-12-21T06:33:00.000-08:00

spent my whole friday with my college friends at kate's house and then at ate em's place in eastwood excelsior for a christmas party. special bonding time with the girls. went around eastwood and the newly opened eastwood mall taking pics. :) definitely a night to remember.

---

our church christmas party was held this afternoon. weeks of prep for the games and dance routine finally paid off. haha. twas our youth group's first (and last?) attempt at dancing. ayaw pa nila magsayaw nung una kong sinabi yung plan, pero f na f naman nung tapos na haha. i'm so proud of them. :)

kuya george and i hosted the party. super fun games with tons of prizes. the best yung hep hep hooray--aswcc style. i remember sharie saying na kinakabahan siya haha. didn't get a chance to participate in any of the games, and yung kaisa-isang gusto kong salihan, ung hit the pot (in our case, hit the newspaper haha) inunahan ako ni currie sa line (dinaan sa height) and xa ung nanalo. hahaha. am such a loser tuloy. pero ok lang. everyone enjoyed naman. but a part of me is still sad. hmmm. next year uli! :)

Busy Bee

2008-12-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

what a week! so stressed out from juggling work at our MC bazaar, reviewing for prelim exams on taxation and business ethics, and add to that planning the games, decorations and presentation for our church christmas party.

---sunday---
our youth group answered a spirtual gift inventory for our discipleship group and the results were shocking haha... there are future pastors, teachers and (a) missionary pala among the bunch. the test was made just to give them an idea on what their spiritual gifts are. am praying that God will confirm the results of that test to them in a most personal way. any calling is a very serious matter.

---tuesday---
my groupmates in business practicum and i joined a 5 day bazaar at our campus. we sold all kinds of food from kwek-kwek, turon, chicken fingers, rice balls, coke float -- you name it! we have to earn a net of 20 thousand kasi before graduation as part of our requirement and i dunno know how in the world will we be able to do it. haha. my whole barkada were very supportive. they bought lunch and snacks from us the whole week to help us earn (*sweet*). super kapagod but it was all worth it. we also had a blast drinking minute maid samples for the nth round kasi the promoters kept on dropping by at our booth. haha. :)

---monday---
SJE gives back. as part of our org's outreach for Sanggu's One Big Party, we gave out free stuff to kids from our partner community. seeing how happy these kids were at the simple gifts we had for them is priceless. this is one of our most meaningful and memorable Christmas's ever.

---tuesday---
sir mark brought 4 boxes of gonuts donuts for the whole class after our exam on taxation. gwapo na sweet pa. haha. yumyum (nung donuts, hindi si sir -- lols. :)

---today---
so there, that was two weeks worth of kwento. today is officially the start of our christmas break! yey! have two christmas parties in line and a very special christmas dinner with my travel buddies. can't wait!

Freaky--Cool

2008-12-13T05:26:00.000-08:00

i found something PRETTY COOL (freaky--cool) in my bestfriend's profile so i tried it out (halatang bored :D). the results are both freaky and cool coz it literally talks about what you are going through at the moment. the part which says that i wish to be left in peace says it all haha. go try the din (bez, pagaya hehe).

My Colorgenics test result:

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

i tried the test for the second time and voila it still says something quite true at the moment. (intrigued? -- go check out the site)

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. These emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care. Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.

Time Out

2008-12-11T05:09:00.000-08:00

one of my friends told me that i've changed--i'm not as gentle, soft spoken and patient with them as i was before. maybe i've grown tired of tolerating everything they do. i don't keep my feelings to myself anymore. maybe i'm just sick of being such a pushover. i've had enough.

but...

i don't know if i like myself anymore--the insecure-workaholic-choleric type.

maybe what i need is to take some time off. get away from everything. find myself in Him. and be who He wants me to be.

Looong Sunday...

2008-11-30T07:59:00.000-08:00

had a (very) long sunday. started the morning with a church service, then the usual after-service music practice, a short trip home and back to church again for a dedication service. sharie, ferry, currie and i were caught by surprise sa news na kasama kami sa line-up ng godparents. so i'm now a proud ninang to two inaanaks. haha. feeling ko tuloy ang tanda ko na. :P

i'm beginning to realize that there's a downside to having a few youths at church. i don't want to sound arrogant or something but i just hate it when "they" demand so many things from us. it's like we can't do our own thing. and it sucks.
--

we were supposed to practice for a dance routine para sa christmas party but since walang may talent sa amin mag-isip ng steps nauwi nalang sa kwentuhan. i'm really hoping for God to send a choreographer (by the name of timothy james aka "tj") para magkaron naman kami ng progress. haha. :)

our sunday evening won't be complete without attending gencon. it was the last session for their final destination series and pastor sam talked about heaven. heaven nga, tinodo ang aircon at ang stage puro ulap at anghel. haha. pastord jordan sang "i can only imagine" and the song would make you think on how is it really like to be in heaven--to see Jesus face to face. as usual, we left the fellowship blessed and renewed. :)

i won't forget this evening din coz of what sharie and i have talked about...
---

at dahil long sunday ang title ng post na 'to, mom, sis and i went to sm to watch the last full show of twilight. the movie was no match to the book but i still love it. robert pattinson playing edward made the movie so worth it. haha. i'm such a sucker for chick flicks. :) it was the last full show but the cinema was still packed with viewers. i think mom liked the movie as well and i think we'll bring her to see new moon next when it comes out. twilight fever mode. haha.

night/morning! :)

Spiritual Gifts

2008-11-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

our first d-group for this sem finally started yesterday. yay! i've been tremendously busy with school works that i seldom have the chance to fellowship with the girls. yesterday's session was uber cool. haha. jeri gave us a test to determine our spiritual gifts. we had to answer 112 questions that correspond to points on 16 spiritual gifts. the three highest points and their corresponding classification are your spiritual gifts.

i just couldn't contain my excitement while taking the test. i've been wanting to know for so long what He has given me so that i could make use of it. and the results were astounding. god has confirmed that my gifts were the same ones i have the burden for.

spiritual gifts are given by God but it is up to us (with His help) to discover and develop them.

* if you want to take the test for yourself, just tell me so i could ask jeri for a copy. :)

Breakthroughs

2008-11-22T22:41:00.000-08:00

i started with a couple of kids in sunday school but i truly thank God for the newest additions. 8 regulars plus 4 new = 12 uber kulet kids that drive me crazy. haha. i asked god for a little help but he gave me three times more than what i asked for. cheeno, hannah and ichi were just heaven sent. :) i was surprised at how patient they were with the kids. i hope they would continue to help me out coz i know i can't do it all alone.

d-group time was so special. we were supposed to do an application of what sharie shared last week in our group which was about evangelism. but i know we just can't go out there without being equipped. so we studied the tracts (do you know life's most important relationship?) i bought from CCF and sharie and i challenged everyone in the group to do our part in fulfilling the great commission. i was so happy to see the fire in their eyes. i believe that God would bless our desire to advance his kingdom. we'll do our part then leave the rest to him.

this is just the start...

---

went to gencon for their 2nd installment on the final destination series. pastor jordan gave a message about hell and how it's not enough that we know we are saved. surrendering our lives to christ is not just a one-time event--it's a lifestyle.

i'm leaving you with one of his quotes:
"it's better to be on fire with God than on fire away from him"

night! :)

junk art at its finest

2008-11-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

had our first artist's studio trip for our arts and design class. it was also my first time to ride in mrt and i swear i won't do it again. haha.
the sculptor was our professor's good friend, ral arrogante. known for his witty metal sculptures which can be seen at the world trade center, senate and luneta among other places.
his pieces are priced at around 5 to 10 thousand each. proof that there's really cash in trash. :)

rendezvous

2008-11-16T23:59:00.000-08:00

met up with my good friend/discipler at katips for lunch. we've been so busy this past week that we barely had time to talk even though we see each other daily at school. we talked about everthing that's been happening in our ministries--including our progress (?) and struggles; future "career" plans and love life.

burnout.

i feel like my responsibilities are starting to take a toll on my spiritual life. it's like i'm focusing more on His work rather than on Him. Jeri's right, i need to come back to my first love because everything else is just secondary and that any form of burnout is not from Him.

i need His word. i feel like i'm missing a lot whenever i skip (unintentionally) the pastor's preaching to teach the kids in sunday school. i love those kids and i can't bear to let them go but i'm afraid my spiritual defense is limping due to these "absences".

her advice?

delegate. train. refocus.

----------

i wish i had a 'lil brother. i wanted to have one even more badly when i met this charming 4 year old at my mom's office kanina. his twinky eyes and cute smile is soooo endearing. para kaming may sariling mundo habang naglalaro. he even sang incy wincy spider. haha.

he made the hours i was stuck in that place more bearable--but not without a price. he ate all of my french fries. :P

btw. his name is rafa. :)

kung may lil bro kayo dyan pahiram naman muna. haha. :)

When I Hear You Call

2008-11-10T04:03:00.000-08:00

Gary V.'s song...

Would love to hear this song played during my wedding's father--daughter dance. :)
haha. senti mode :)

Updates?

2008-11-09T06:16:00.001-08:00

i feel like writing...but i don't know where to start.

hmmm..

so, school started last wednesday and thank god that i was allowed to drop my culinary elective at AHA (American Hospitality Academy) or else i wouldn't have been able to enrol because cash is--short at the moment. i opted for a monthly payment mode but the down was still something like 30k. c'mon! but god is still faithful. :)

What else?

CBEA general assembly was held last sat. so happy everyone in my "fratt" is included in the dean's list. *thank you lord*

we had our first class in my new elective--humanities (the one i replaced AHA with). we were asked to make a collage of some sort. the teacher seems to be very nice and kinda *weird*. haha. but i'm looking forward to learning a lot from her. i'm excited for our "painting" lesson next week. :P

also fellowshipped at GenCon for two consecutive sundays with my other youthmates. definitely a big change from the typical scene in our church. i don't know if i'm ready to share this but something or "Someone" urged me to go to the altar during the call--something i don't normally do. i was telling myself to stay where i was at but i just couldn't resist Him. it's like a big step of faith...i just hope i'll be able to live up to it till the end. Lord, help me.

so that's about it. so tired.

night!

Of Jeepney Drivers and God

2008-11-08T06:40:00.000-08:00

i was riding in a jeep a while ago and realized something of 'eternal significance'. i don't know about you but i get kinda ticked off when the driver stops over just to get a single "possible" passenger. i feel like it's a waste of time because he ain't sure if that person will ride or not. but he stops just to make sure he doesn't leave anyone [who wants to ride in his jeep] behind.

now, some may argue that these drivers may be thinking more of the money they will earn from every passenger, but let's try to picture their intent in God's perspective.

i think god wants us to be like jeepney drivers.

i think He wants us to painstakingly stop over at every single soul. it's our duty as christians to let everyone experience the joy of riding in His jeep--the joy of knowing His message and the opportunity to have Him enter their lives. after all, it's the surest and best way to eternal life.

"Pay close attention to your life and your teaching. Persevere in these things, because if you do so, you will save both yourself and those who listen to you."
1 Timothy 4:16

Untitled 4

2008-11-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

i was a bit discouraged about what happened a while ago simply because the people whom i thought would understand suddenly left me. siguro nga the path i'm about to take will be lonely. but i'm sure He'll never leave when everybody else does..

nakakaasar lang tlga. walang maasahan..

PJ

2008-11-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

omg.

i'm totally freaking out right now!!!

haha.

he posted a comment on my blog in multiply.

it said: "awww-stig!"

weeeeeee! :)
haha. i may sound like a total weirdo...but it really means a lot!!! :)

Meaning of My Name "Daw"

2008-10-28T03:20:00.000-07:00

Rachelle

Ewe "Hebrew"

Your calm manner and maturity belie a fierce determination to be at the top where you can exercise authority and get things done. Although somewhat of a rebel you attract much support through treating others with kindness and friendship. You have a broad scope and are naturally drawn to travel or projects which can expand your knowledge and understanding. Your talents and generosity bring you emotional and material contentment.

Hmm...sounds 99% true haha
Check out your name's meaning too at http://www.bostonuk.com/name_meanings.php

Hardcore Christian

2008-10-27T05:53:00.000-07:00

my sunday mornings won't be complete without tuning into perfect rhythm, jordan escusa's program on 702 dzas. he's become such an inspiration to my spiritual life that sometimes i wish i was him--the girl version. haha. he's definitely a hard core christian, evangelist, worship leader, youth pastor and christian dj...lahat na. he's made a "career" out of serving god full time, but i still don't know if that's my calling. i don't want to push myself into something na hindi naman talaga Niya plinan para sa akin. i'm still waiting for His final say. i'm scared and excited at the same time. there's barely 5 months left for my schooling. what's next? what am i going to do with my life? i thought my parents understood what i wanted to do, but it seems that they have other plans... *sigh*

so, nuff said. back to perfect rhythm. just want to share an interesting episode entitled: top ten life changes that causes the youth to drop out of church.

here it goes:

10. school or work responsibilities
9. losing touch with church friends
8. spending more time with friends outside of church
7. becoming too busy
6. family problems (sarado-kandado yung family sa new faith, unwanted pregnancies etc.)
5. made a life decision not accepted by the church
4. moved too far away from the church (so find another church--one where jesus is the head of it)
3. they found another one that is more fun and exciting--one that approves of the behavior they are doing (yung di pinakikialamanan yung buhay nila). instead, go to a church that preaches the uncompromising words of truth, kung saan lagi kang tinatamaan ng message coz it means that you are growing.
* he shared that he wanted to leave his church back then to go to a more upbeat one but God spoke to him stick around. "instead of changing church, why not help change your church" (tinamaan ako dun. haha)
2. non-involvement (youth without ministries)
1. spiritual malnourishment (burnout, panlalamig etc)--help your church to get out of the rut, the boring routine.

there are thousands of excuses to avoid going to church but God demands that we put Him above all else, right?

just want to leave you with a quote from Billy Graham:

"If you're looking for a perfect church, then you are in it, then its not perfect anymore."

Boitdei

2008-10-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

my 20th has got to be one of my memorable birthdays to date. last year was, oh well...nevermind.. had four of my wishes granted. yay! :) my sis and louie both gave me a copy of twilight--but he also gave me a copy of Eclipse (double yay! haha), bez got me a daily bread diary, had a (very) nice dinner with my family and louie at italianni's and went to tagaytay with my high school friends just this saturday :D

sooo. sooo happy. :)

it's been years since i had my family complete on my birthday. there were only three of us last year and the saddest part was i "lost" someone dear to me that night... so this year was something special. dad's here and he tagged him along knowing that it'll make me happier (i have some theories on this one*). we dined at the same resto as last year but for some reason, the food seemed to taste better, or is it just because i'm happy? not sure if there's some connection to it. haha.

but reality's slowly sinking in. i'm getting older. i'm not a "teen" anymore. *sigh* i guess i just have to deal with the age and its repercussions...

night! :)

Travel Buddies

2008-10-26T06:07:00.000-07:00

Trip #1: Tagaytay

our much awaited tagaytay trip finally pushed through yesterday despite some difficulties. i have to admit, at first i thought it'll be such a bore cause we were so few but it turned out to be the best roadtrip after all. definitely no regrets! :D

us, girls, met up with kim and kuya rownil at tropical hut. i settled for a cup of hot choco while sha and the boys ate their breakfast. we left at around 6 a.m. to pick up angelo (who just got off from his shift) at market market and chanchan at wilcon depot alabang. thank god for chan! having him around is the best comic relief. :o)

kim's driving...uhm...just pretend you're in Realto..you'll get the picture. haha. we arrived at tagaytay picnic grove half past eight and went straight to one of the huts. the view is still breathtaking. we (sha, bez, chan, gelo) went off to a trail while kim and kuya happily attended to our things back at the hut. haha. we took turns in taking pics with chan conceptualizing the poses. and for some unexplainable reason, i tripped *big time* and bumped my legs onto a step. in fairness nagkapasa at nagka bukol haha.

we went back to the hut for lunch. chan brought out his spagegi from the halloween party he went to the night before (nakakatakot kainin parang panis hahahaha), si sharie and her hamon, bez and her super sarap na siomai (na majority kinain ni chan :D ) and my mashed potatoes (na pinagtritripan ni kim at chan) and chicken fingers na mukha daw kikiam haha.

yummy food + life stories + great company = super fun lunch :)

nakakatuwa yung mga stories ni kim bout his shift sa mental hospital. though he seems to be making fun of his experiences there, you'd see that he really cares for his patients (ang bait ng nurse namin haha). we also learned a new vocabulary at lunch na pinauso ni chanchan.

*YABANG

Definition: word articulated after anything (chopsticks, niponggo, tokyo etc... ) tina mentions about Japan. haha. :D

we were approached by an american youth missionary, asking if we'd like to help their youth org in the states by buying jade bracelets. angelo bought one and gave it to me as a birthday present. hihi. the am boy also greeted me a happy birthday. :)

we packed up at around 12 pm and took some more pics. on our way out, we passed by a big photo booth of disney princesses with holes for faces. major photo op. haha. game na game yung tatlong guys na magpose. some tourists who saw us also took pictures of us. haha. nakakahiya.

of course, the roadtrip won't be complete without buying buko tart from rowena's and some fresh pineapples. sinisisi ako ni chan bakit xa bumili ng pinya eh di naman daw siya kumakain nun hahaha. found out one of kim's special talents--magpicture habang nagdradrive haha. the ride home was short. bitin. ang bilis ng oras--kulang na kulang para sa kwentuhan. before we knew it nasa taytay na uli kami. hinatid kami lahat ni kim sa bahay bahay hehe driver na driver ang dating :)

this is only the first of many roadtrips ahead. e.k.? bicol? pagudpod? batangas? haha...anywhere basta makasakay sa RORO haha. can't wait for the next one!!!! :)

Mga Pauso ni Bob Ong

2008-10-25T04:57:00.000-07:00

Got this one from a friend's multiply post. 'To ata yung mga kumakalat sa text messages. haha. In fairness, may katotohanan din ung iba. :)

1. "Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibopara mahalin ka nya.."

2. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

3. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

4. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

5. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mokung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo langpansinin."

6. "Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhaymo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

7. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunodnaaraw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

8. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundipagkukusa."

9. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga taorin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."

10. "Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi kanaman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

11. "Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt,malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

12. "Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mgacrush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

13. "Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay,kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

14. "Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bidasa script na pinili nya."

15. "Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila?

Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

16. “Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”

17. “Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”

18. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

19. "Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

20. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

21. "Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

*Panalo yung number 18. haha. :D

#7

2008-10-16T05:58:00.000-07:00

wish #7 granted! :)
my big sis got me a copy of twilight a while ago. dapat daw surprise din pero ang kulit ko kasi
2 down..5 more to go. lols.
hoping for #1 to really happen--soon.

nyt!

TBS '08

2008-10-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

just got back from a three day team building seminar in subic. it was our org's main event this sem and everyone was expecting a lot from us officers. we did intensive planning for months just to meet the expectations of the majority. the biggest problem was finding a place that could accomodate 170 students for three days-2nights on a 2000 budget. maganda naman yung venue but sadly madaming reklamo. our prof, who has had enough of the complaints told those who were whining that they are just "PLAIN MAARTE"!

all i know is that we did everything to make the event fun and enjoyable. but it's true--you can't please everyone :(

on a happier note, a lot did have fun during the games and cheering competition. we did a spoof on the olympics by modifying certain rules and objects (basketball was played using tennis balls etc..) i noticed na ang aarte talaga maglaro ng mga babae haha pero nag-shine talaga ang moves ng mga tibo. lols. :)

this is our last tbs. sad. sad.
i'm going to miss bonding with my batchmates and friends. i'm going to miss my barkada. the thought of graduating makes me feel sad and relieved at the same time. sad because i'll be missing them badly but relieved because my 14 academic years will soon be coming to an end.

but for now, i'm just going to enjoy the time i have left with them...cherish the moments...be happy! :)

Perfect Timing

2008-10-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

God is always on time...

Madalas saktong-sakto lang. :)

I’ve been worrying bout how i will be able to get my exam pass this week. Tagal ko nang on-hold sa ADSA dahil sa financial statements ng org namin. Without ADSA's signature di ko makukuha exam pass ko. Dami kasi problems sa finances for our team building seminar. I was in the bank everyday to deposit—withdraw—deposit—withdraw our funds. Hirap pala talaga maging treasurer. At lalong mahirap magbilang ng libo-libong salapi lalo na pag di sayo. HAHA! i’ve developed a disgust over checks...hassle...tagal maxado ng clearing.

So un nga, kanina lang na-finalize yung financial statements and kanina lang napirmahan ng dep’t chair nmin. Tpos ang tagal pa mag double check nung personnel sa ADSA so pabalik balik ako kung natapos na niya. Finally natapos niya icheck yung financials at pirmahan ung clearance ng 3:55 eh 4:00 magsasara ung exam pass releasing office. sobrang bilis kong tinakbo papuntang office and buti umabot. Galing galing talaga ni lord. Swak na swak ang timing. :)

Sometimes we wonder why God allows delays pero i’ve realized it’s for our own good. We deepen our faith in him and rely more on his timing.

Good night! :)

Lunch Treat :)

2008-10-09T06:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our last meeting in our Business Law class. Final exams din. t'was super fun puro picture taking parang walang exams. Atty. Marc even treated the class to lunch at Dencio’s Eastwood. it was our first class "bonding" outside our classroom. everyone had a great time. ang kwela ni sir, pinapatulan lahat ng jokes ni madz. nag-aaya pa ng "inuman session" haha.

Hope he'll be our prof for next sem's Business Taxation class para may lunch treat uli lol. :)

Had a tiring but fun week. Next week three days out of town naman with the whole SJE then SEM-BREAK na!!!! :)

#3

2008-10-08T22:52:00.000-07:00

#3 Daily Bread Diary 2009 ... c bez na daw bahala :)
thanks bez! :)

wishawishawishawishwishwish :)

2008-10-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

a friend asked me for my birthday wishlist so here it goes: ;p

1. go to Tagaytay with my high school friends.
2. the kinder bueno ehji promised me 2 years ago haha :)
3. the Daily Bread Diary 2009
4. a nice dinner with family and friends
5. a slim NIV
6. a day at the spa
7. Twilight book series by Stephenie Meyer

when my plans fail...

2008-10-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

god always comes to my rescue. :)

we had our third simulation for AHA this afternoon. prep work started at 6 am and man, was it though. my team was rushing to get things done coz chef jan keeps on nagging us about it. worst thing was set-up had to be finished at 10 a.m. but the crew in charge of setting the tents were taking forever to finish and the delivery for the tables and chairs were super late. the venue for the event was also moved to LMC grounds at the last minute so we had to deal with the changing weather. the possibility of the event being cancelled due to the rain was of great concern to everyone. and to top it all, the concept i had for the design had to be altered to suit the new location.

sobrang pressure. i felt like breaking down. sumabay pa yung katatalak ng chef na mataba. haha. buti nalang my bros were there to cheer me up, saying "leletsunin na daw nila si chef". lol. :)

the feeling of not being 'in control' sucks. but as we grow more in our walk with him, we will realize that once we place everything in His control, the more likely (or surely) will things fall into place. not having total control over things makes us look more to Him--and to what He can do. we make plenty of plans but he has the final say. proverbs 16:9 says it beautifully: 'in his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps...'

may we take steps along god's path...

good night.

C-O-U-N-T-D-O-W-N

2008-10-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

2 more weeks to go before one of my most awaited day :)
my only wish is to be with people i loooove...and just be H-A-P-P-Y! :)

Untitled 3

2008-09-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

minsan gusto mo din na ikaw naman ang alagaan...
but someone told me that happiness should not depend on how others treat or love us.
coz sometimes it just doesn't show and you'd end up feeling depressed all the more.
but there's still that someone who'll walk by your side...
and would never leave--no matter what.

Youth

2008-09-28T03:46:00.000-07:00

it was the second time that our youth fellowship was held at our house. the 'gang' watched hillsong's 2008 concert, 'this is our god'.

super fun. kulet kasi ng icebreaker na ginawa ni kuya george. everyone just can't stop laughing.

back to the concert. i haven't seen a group of musicians as passionate in their worship as these people. they truly rock for god. 'with everything...with everything...we will shout for your glory...' that line says it all.

our music team has still a lot to learn. but we'll start with what we have--the desire to lift up God's name through music. we'll leave the rest to god.. nakakatuwa lang yung sinabi ni merdan. 'ganyan din naman tayo tumugtog ah!' quite funny but it tells me something more. he has faith in our team. so do i.

i also discussed about our plans for the coming three months. it's nice to see the excitement in their eyes. hope everything works out with god's guidance and provision. we ended the day with a prayer. minsan iisipin mo hindi sila seryoso manalangin...madalas kasi nagkakahiyaan in saying their prayer requests. but i believe their prayers are powerful--raw--honest.

i love these kids. i'm gonna miss them. i praise the lord for these wonderful young people who keep on inspiring me to serve god through serving/leading them. ang bilis ng panahon. my term's coming to an end this december but i believe my work is still not finished.

rock on.

Anointed.

:)

cycle.

2008-09-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

he's at it again...
i'm so tired of telling him about it.
when will he ever learn?
:(

Untitled 2

2008-09-25T05:34:00.000-07:00

*sometimes it doesn't show :(

had a plant tour at nestle just this morning. it was cool seeing my fave ice cream made from scratch. reminds me of the 7th thing i'd like to do..haha

it was my first time to eat at nestle creamery. good food. but the desserts are to-die-for. :)
there was even a dessert named 'tatlong itlog' -- bansag ni pam sa 'ming tatlo ni jena and kate. what a coincidence. haha :P jena's planning on going there again next thursday with no other than superman. haha. good thing chaperone n nmn ako :)

lakas din mg food trip ng family ko. feel like gaining too much weight--again. haha. yesterday at gerry's tpos ice creamery nmn knina. mga bochog haha :)

been skipping my classes this week. dami kasing b.i. ksama na dun ang mgaling kong ina at ama haha.

gtg.

Luke

2008-09-25T03:50:00.000-07:00

If you could go back and change just one thing about your life, would you?
And if you did, would that change make your life better?
Or would that change ultimately break your heart?
Or break the heart of another?
Would you choose an entirely different path?
Or would you change just one thing?
Just one moment?
One moment that you always wanted back?

At this moment, there are six billion, five hundred two million, eight hundred sixty seven thousand, one hundred and twenty people in the world.
Give or take a few.
And sometimes all you need is one.
For better or for worse.

--Lucas Scott

some random thought

2008-09-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

it isn't easy to be happy. but there are still a lot of things to smile about. don't be disheartened.

time heals all wounds, so they say. just hoping time is at my side.

there are a thousand reasons to cry. but there are a million reasons to laugh.

the choice is ours to make.

live for the million reasons.

SMILE :)

2008-09-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

i want to write.

write.
write.
write.

i love this blog.

doesn't matter if no one reads it at all. maybe except for my bez. haha.

wth.

it's off limits to YOU.

please.

2008-09-24T01:44:00.001-07:00

just keep it only between the 2 of us...

2008-09-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

i feel like i have lost you again.

you always say we don't understand each other. maybe because we do not listen well enough. i'm sorry for everything. i know i'm always the cause of our problems. i'm sorry for giving you such a hard time and for being too possessive. i didn't mean to.

but i'm tired of blaming myself for every single fight. i'm giving you your freedom now. hope you'd be happier this way. if we're really meant for each other then so be it. until that day comes, i'll prepare myself for you. i'll do my best to be the person He wants for you. but if not, i'll be content with loving you from afar.

i am saddened by being the reason why you feel so 'strangled'. hope u find that 'someone' who will give you the breathing space you need. hope she'll give you everything i can't. hope you love her--the way you know how to love before there was me. make her happy. don't say 'whatever' even if it's just a joke whenever she's trying to tell you her heart's content--it'll make her feel worthless.

to that someone who will have your heart:

understand him.
give him breathing space.
write him sweet letters.
tell him jokes.
pray for him.
cook for him. feed him right.
watch his game. cheer for him.
surprise him even without special occassions.
watch a movie with him.
hug him whenever he feels sad. just cheer him up.
don't make him leave without having said you love him.
kiss him on the cheek before you say goodbye. just give him woodpecker kisses.
watch him walk away from your house because he'll wave goodbye.
make him happy.
just LOVE him.

Hmmm...

2008-09-23T01:10:00.000-07:00

Thirty things i'd like to do:

1. Go to Paris, Greece and Spain
2. Go snowboarding
3. Watch cloud shapes go by
4. Fly a kite
5. Build a sand castle
6. Watch the sun set and wait for the sun rise the following day with someone special
7. Eat ice cream all day long
8. Dance in the moonlight
9. Lie on the grass and watch the stars at night
10. Pole dance :)
11. Dive for pearls
12. Kiss in the rain
13. Blow bubbles
14. Make a bonfire on the beach
15. Road trip for a week
16. Go to Ilocos :)
17. Ice skate in Serendipity’s Wollman Rink
18. Swim with dolphins
19. Go to Hillsong Conference
20. Scream on top of a mountain
21. Do a one-handed cartwheel
22. Stay on the phone all night
23. Eat a fruit picked right off the tree
24. Sleep in a tree-house
25. Finish reading the Bible
26. Swim with all my clothes on
27. Catch fish and eat it
28. Laugh so hard and cry so hard
29. Ride a roller coaster
30. Go surfing

:)

tanay trekking

2008-09-14T06:52:00.000-07:00

6 kilometers of rocky, muddy, downhill slope.

NINE rivers.

12 heavy donation boxes.

= the best adventure ever! :)

just the thought of trekking makes me tired... but nothing compares to the stress of actually doing it... :)

as part of our pastoral action in theo class, our 'frat' had to go to barangay laiban (a community located at the foot of some mountain in tanay) to do some outreach in partnership with our school's Environmental Studies Institute.

it took us an hour's drive to tanay then 5 hours down to baranggay laiban. we had to cross 9 rivers and about 6 kilometers of downhill slope to reach the place. we even had our lunch at the 6th river if i'm not mistaken.

super daming bata dun sa community. more than 80 kids ata un. seeing the smile on their faces as we played with them was the best consolation to our tired bodies. we left the place at 4pm and it was the best jeepney ride. literal na bigfoot ung tires ng jeep haha. para kang nasa "Realto" pag dumadaan ung jeep sa ilog haha :)

sir francis and sir mon are the best trekking masters. super fun kasama and super bait. they even treated us to fudge sundaes after the trip.

super bonding. :)

i wouldn't trade this experience for anything else. till the next adventure. :)

* halata bang ang hilig kong mag-'super'! haha :)

Untitled 1

2008-08-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

i've been feeling down for quite a while now and it's the worst feeling -- ever. not knowing what makes you sad. not knowing who to blame for your sadness other than yourself.

just have to take my time now...

finally...

2008-08-12T04:21:00.000-07:00

god is so good.

tonight, god finally answered my prayers.

my prayer has always been to be able to share the gospel to my friends before i leave college. and tonight, god has made a way for my prayer to come true.

she's one of my closest friends in college. her name is kate.

what started as a simple inquiry on praying in tongues and rapture paved the way for a meaningful sharing on the gospel, on god's love and salvation. i was overwhelmed by the experience. i never thought i would be able to share with her the truth behind god's love and its power to change a person's life.

i've been a christian for so long but this has always been my struggle. i find it hard to share the gospel. maybe because i'm scared of what people will say. FEAR. but god's grace is greater than that word...

this night would not have been possible without god. i believe he has set that time for is to be in that room to study his word.

we ended the night with a prayer. i hope she really did accept him as her Lord and savior. i believe that god will use her mightily in sharing the word with her family. and that the pastor's vision for her bout Esther will come true.

God is not yet finished with her... with me... and so with the rest of my clique.

i hope god will continue to open doors for me to share his word...

7 more souls...

and then i can finally leave...

13 Things I Look Forward to at the End of the Week :)

2008-07-27T20:02:00.000-07:00

in no particular order...

- my mom's cooking -- a big bowl of warm soup or porridge or a plate of her special veggie salad :)
- watching ina garten's barefoot contessa and giada de laurentiis's everyday italian on the food network
- an overseas call from my dad
- a warm hug from someone special
- see faces of people in our church's youth group and also jamming with them
- "yadnuh" :)
- study new songs on my guitar
- a time to write on my blog
- a time to read a chapter on my favorite book
- a longer time alone with god
- my newly manicured hands/feet
- my favorite song playing on the background
- a good night message from a dear friend
- an i love you from anyone

hmmm...now that makes hectic weekdays more bearable :)

8 Things Young Filipinos Can Do To Help The Philippines

2008-07-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

8 Things Young Filipinos can do to Help the Philippines
by: Harvey S. Keh
The Manila Bulletin, July 20,2008 (Sunday)

Is the Filipino youth apathetic and indifferent to the plight of our country? That is a question that I am often asked by my friends who seem to be frustrated with the seeming lack of concern and action from the Filipino youth. My answer to this question is simple, I don't agree that young Filipinos don't care anymore about our country, they want and can do something but they just don't know how they can contribute positively in our society. In this regard, I'd like to share my own views of how young Filipinos can get involved in creating a better Philippines.

1.) Register and Vote in the upcoming 2010 National Elections. One of the major problems in our country today is our lack of effective and ethical leaders who will set aside their self-interest for the sake of the common good. In 2010, a great majority of Filipino voters will be aged between 18-35 years old thus, this is a perfect opportunity for young Filipinos to shape our country's future by choosing the right leaders who will lead our country out of poverty. You can help encourage young Filipinos to register and vote by joining IamChange 2010, send an email to the organizers at kai.pastores@ yahoo.com or you can contact them at (02) 426-5657.

2.) Keep yourself informed about what's happening in our country. In a talk that I gave last summer to a group of college students, I asked them if they knew the different between the roles of a congressman and a mayor. 95% of them said no. This was disheartening since they were already college students studying at a prestigious university. If we really care about our country, we should make a conscious effort to know what is happening around us by reading the newspaper, watching the news or simply taking time to visit websites that contain news about the Philippines.

3.) Harness the power of the Internet to share your sentiments about issues in our country. With the rapid growth of social networking sites and blogs, young Filipinos are now able to easily share their opinions and views with the rest of the world. This can be an effective means of sharing with your friends your views about different issues in our country and by doing so you can help generate more awareness and concern about particular issues and advocacies that need to be pushed for the betterment of our society. If you have time, visit my blog at http://filipinochan gemaker.blogspot .com .

4.) Share your books with public school students. The state of Education in our country is in a crisis. We have students who reach high school without even learning how to comprehend a Grade 3 textbook. This problem is compounded by the fact that less than 15% of our public elementary schools have adequate and functional libraries. How can we teach students to read if they don't have books that they can read? If you want to donate books or start a book drive for our public schools, you can get in touch with AHON Foundation by sending an email to ahonfoundation@ gmail.com or calling (02) 683-0262 local 109.

5.) When you go abroad or meet foreigners, share nice things about the Philippines. If you watch CNN or BBC, there are advertisements wherein countries showcase their beautiful places and encourage tourists to come and visit. This is being done since tourism can be a major driver in the economy and development of a country since it not only brings in dollars to the country but it also provides livelihood opportunities for the local communities. Given the meager budget we have to promote our country abroad, we can help by sharing nice things about the Philippines when we meet foreigners and through this we are able to encourage them to take time to visit our country's most beautiful places and enjoy the world famous Filipino hospitality.

6.) If you can, don't leave the country. Many of our best minds like our teachers are leaving the country in search of better opportunities and the effects are already showing in our public schools where there is a lack of highly skilled English, Math and Science Teachers. I totally understand and don't blame those who come from very poor families which decide to work abroad to provide a better quality of life for their families, some of them may have no other choice than to leave. But for those that have a choice and live a relatively comfortable life here, then I hope you can consider staying and working here to contribute towards moving our country forward. For those who decide to leave, I hope you don't forget to give back to the Philippines by helping send a poor but deserving student to school or sending books that our public school students can still use.

7.) Volunteer your time and Share your skills for causes that are bigger than yourself. According to studies on what makes people genuinely happy, being able to help and take part in causes that are bigger than yourself is one of the most fulfilling and happiest experiences. There are so many non-profit organizations and foundations that are currently doing their own share in helping change the Philippines but for them to reach more people and do more good work, they often need volunteers who can commit time to help in their activities. For example, Pathways to Higher Education-Philippin es needs volunteer tutors who can commit 2-3 hours a week to help poor but deserving public high school students gain access to quality higher education. Another example is Museo Pambata which looks for volunteer tour guides and storytellers who can help in entertaining and educating children who visit the Museum. You can visit the Pathways website at http://www.pathways philippines. org or call them at (02) 4266001 local 4048.

8.) Join advocacy groups that promote good governance in our country. According to a study made by the World Bank, the Philippines is one of the most corrupt countries in Asia wherein billions of pesos are lost every year due to rampant graft and corruption in our government. These billions of pesos could've been used to build homes for the poor, provide quality healthcare to the sick and build enough public school classrooms for the Filipino youth but instead they money just goes to the pockets of a few elite families which govern our country. It is no wonder why the poor remain poor in the country while those in power continue to drive around our streets in their brand new luxury vehicles. In order for us to achieve genuine and lasting reforms in our country, we need to work together to promote greater transparency and accountability in our government leaders. If you are interested to volunteer and join the fight against corruption, you can join TEAM RP by sending an email to team.rp.official@ gmail.com .

all in a day's work

2008-07-21T04:11:00.000-07:00

my co-officers in sje and i organized a personality development talk entitled "beyond captivating" this afternoon. i was tasked to pick up 5 huge boxes of eaji from our sponsor in san miguel mills in the morning. we were stuck in heavy traffic plus we got lost. and to add to my dismay the whole pick up process took us an hour or so. so there, finally got the goods then went straight to school.

the event started at around 1 p.m. with Cory Quirino's arrival. have never seen such "jawdropping" beauty before. a mix of ooohhs and aahhs were heard from the crowd (all girls) when she took off her coat.. kutis porcelana haha...tell me if i sound like a "t-bird" for saying these things :) there's no denying the fact that she's a brilliant motivational speaker. we learned a lot while having fun. super kwela din niya. but one thing i noticed though is that her talk is all about releasing your power, your inner goddess, acquiring wealth etc.. there's nothing wrong with these things, it's just that there are certain points in her speech that i don't believe in... too worldly for me if i may say. i was looking for a "godly" dimension... personally, i believe that we are nothing without God and that there is no greater power other than him... but all-in-all the talk was interesting and fun..

our next speaker was Nina Ricci Alagao. she looks so much better in person than on television. her speech sort of became an open forum about confidence etc... people were not really that into it but when she started talking about beauty tips, how to walk, talk, and even sit like a beauty queen that was the time when people really started to listen. one thing that struck me most was when she said that the biggest confidence booster for her was when she became a christian... sayang lang because she was not given a chance talaga to share the gospel... ayun, but super fun din tska inspiring nung talk nia.

all the hardwork was incomparable to the end result. the participant evaluation sheet was filled with good comments such as keep up the good work, we learned a lot etc...everyone went home happy and that's all that matters...

it's all in a days work... :)

to god be the glory. :)

From Nelson Mandela...Hope you'd be inspired.

2008-07-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you ...
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Nelson Mandela

So true...

my life in a week

2008-07-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

it's been such a busy week.

tired.

imagining what headaches months ahead will bring :(

but i still have a lot to thank god for.

finally passed the feasib!!! haha... after 3 months. di ko napigil sarili ko nung nkita ko ung final paper na naka bookbind. todo ngiting aso.. haha.

got a failing grade for my quiz in production management. a staggering 65%!!! haha... don't know kung ang bagal ko ba pumick-up nung mga panahong yon. haha. just have to do better on the next exam. :)

it's my bez's birthday last thursday. so happy andito na xa sa pinas. pero parang mgay nagbago. medyo awkward ung mga chat namin lately. don't know why i feel so shy to talk to her. pero sobra kong na-miss un. hope we'll be able to catch up on things. dami ko gus2 i-share sa kanya.

ate finally closed a sale on a condo unit!!! balato! :)
haha...ano kayang papabili ko? :)

went with my mom a while ago sa valley fair. she needs to find a space for their company kasi. there, i stumbled upon Word International Ministries. they were having a worship service. at dahil usyusera ako :P i went inside to take a look.

medyo maliit lang ung space but they have a nice office tpos may room for children's sunday school, plus ung pinapangarap kong lcd. haha. it's not naman being materialistic or anything pero i want our church to have those kind of amenities.

i believe hindi naman imposible. i have a rich father in heaven. kaya niyang i-provide un.

sana the members of our church will share the same vision. ayaw kong madatnan kami ni Lord na hanggang dun nalang. 18 years na ung church nmn pero di parin ganun ka-develop. sometimes i get so burdened bout our needs. if only everyone will feel that burden too.

haay Lord...

i lift it all up to you... in your time...

Happy :)

2008-07-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Pure insanity. haha. depress-depressan ang drama. :)

had to make this for my wikispaces homework.

my sis loved it. said i look like "Pucca" on the last frame.

see any resemblance? :P

lonely. stressed. alive. happy.

yep. that sums up how i feel.

wish the happy part would last longer..

Feasib

2008-07-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

so tired.

i've been stressing over this feasib paper for 3 months now and it really sucks. i'm on the verge of breaking down. i had no choice but tweak the balance sheet based on my own terms (in short, dinoktor ko haha) to be able to pass it tomorrow :(

hope everything turns out well...

Life's Anthem

2008-07-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Desert Song
by Hillsong
Album: This Is Our God

Verse 1
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

Verse 2
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

Chorus
I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know i'm filled to be emptied again
The seed i received thy will sow

The bridge says it all. Whatever the circumstance...we have all the reason to worship God. Trust me. I know...

D-group

2008-07-07T05:01:00.000-07:00

Jerina (my spiritual patner and d-group leader) asked me to join other d-group leaders from miriam college to a sort of "team building seminar". she said she was praying for me to become a d-group leader and that our school is a harvest field--in need of more workers.

i got scared.

it was like God talking to me.

ever since that revival night happened, my life kinda had a new perspective, a new direction...

so back to God "talking" to me. god's prompting was so strong--it couldn't be ignored and resisted. but something inside me tells me not to go. it was that deep sense of fear.

i remembered asking God to talk to me bout his will for my life. and when he finally did, my fears and insecurities took hold of me. the thought that i am not deserving for that "call" keeps bothering me. or that i am not prepared to obey. i am just not ready in this point of my life. i have a lot of responsibilities, i'm pre-occupied with a lot of things. maybe those were the reasons for my fears...

but God was faithful, his love is greater than all of my fears and insecurities combined. he used people, His word, and other books to open my eyes for what he wants me to do.

one of that people is Louie. He is one of the few people who truly understands what i'm going through aside from Jeri and my bestfriend tina (if she only knew coz' we haven't had the chance to talk bout it yet). He lent me his father's book and told me to read the chapter on "god is my home" (i'll post it next time). God spoke to me bout putting off my luxuries and taking up my cross for him. He wants me to obey him and make my life his home. he's the owner to the "deed" of that house and he has every right to use it as he please.

so there i finally decided to come, not because i want to do it for myself but because i wanted to obey him. I'M GLAD I DID.

i was able to talk to ate justine bout all the stuff inside my heart. it's funny because ate justine and I are quite the same. we're both honor students pressured by our families and people around us to "succeed" (in their own interpretation of the word). we're both ambitious individuals and expected to be "the most successful girl in class". but god is putting a "distaste" in our hearts for things not of His own. tears just kept streaming down my face, and people who saw me was probably thinking i'm nuts. ate told me that everything in this world is "rubbish" in the eyes of God and that our lives have a higher purpose, and that is to serve Him. she told me bout her experiences when she was still in the corporate world and compared it to her experiences in the ministry. she said there'll be a lot of trials and challenges but at the end of the day...what matters most is that we were able to serve God.

the whole day was filled with fun. i got to know trippy, abi and lica (d-group leaders as well). they told me bout the history of PROJECT S.C.H.O.O.L. (Saving Colleges and High Schools of Our Land) which gave birth to d-groups (discipleship groups) in different schools. their mission of spreading the word of god is just remarkable. as ate told us, we have a DREAM and that is to disciple others, return to our first love, make evangelism our lifestyle, eliminate apathy and wait for God's miracle to abound. our prayer time was very special because we prayed for Miriam College, that God may use us to make him known in our school. as jeri puts it: "We are building a MOVEMENT--not a MONUMENT!"

i'm quite scared but my heart trusts that God will use everything in me (including my weaknesses) for his greater glory.

i'm excited.

may god's miracles abound.

"His power in us can do far more than we dare ask or imagine."
Ephesians 3:20.

p.s. i was thinking of inviting ate justine for one of our youth fellowships in church. i'm sure everyone in our group will be inspired to do our part in spreading the gospel.

GO Channel

2008-06-26T04:59:00.000-07:00

our department head picked claire and i to be interviewed for "go channel". i don't quite understand what it was but i was told you have to subscribe in order to view. i was joking that no one will see us because the show has no subscribers but i was dumbfounded when i was told that they have around 22,000 subscribers...

we were asked about our views on the rising prices and how it affects us personally, about the reliability of the internet as a source for academic research, and the early politicking of some senators for the 2010 elections.

i stuttered--big time.

a million things were popping into my head. i was so nervous. i don't like talking that much (in class) moreso infront of a camera and a news crew...whew! but i was somehow able to pull through--with god's help. the reporter even commented that i was the only one who said that the early politicking is againts the principle of servant leadership. those people need to concentrate on their job not on publicity. servant leadership is doing one's job when no one is looking--not when there are a thousand eyes on you.

*damn* (excuse me for the word) these politicians...always wanting to be in the limelight..

birthday bash :)

2008-06-26T04:51:00.000-07:00

it's my special someone's birthday yesterday--which called for a celebration haha :) went to the movies and dined out... it may sound very typical but not for us... in our four years of being "together" this was probably the first time we went out on our own--no parents and no chaperone (my big sis) haha... but my mom knew all about it, and there was never a single hesitation on her part when i asked her for permission. this proves that one's obedience and honesty really pays off. i had fun, i hope he did too. making someone happy on their birthday is the best feeling one can have :)

10 things about me..

2008-06-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

1. emotional eater
-- i eat when i'm happy, and i eat even more when something's bothering me

2. i love being hugged
-- it's the best anti-depressant...

3. stroking my hair makes me sleepy...Zzzzzz....

4. i'm insecure with my large and jiggly arms
-- that's why you won't see me wearing anything sleeveless... (99% of the time :P)

5. i love to play the guitar...
-- God is the reason for my music.
i love my Ovation acoustic... saving up to buy my own e-guitar and a nice set of pedalboards :)

6. birthday cards
-- i appreciate a card for my birthday more than any material gifts...

7. Hillsong United
-- the best band...period! i want to experience how it's like to spend a day in their church
and be surrounded with people who are passionate about music and worshipping God..
* greatest dream -- attend their worship service in Sydney! hahaha

8. i love anything with kalamansi in it-- name it!
calamansi juice, toyo-mansi, pati-mansi (patis + kalamansi) lahat ng may mansi haha :)

9. i love pinching the corner of my "punda" (pillow cover)...
it just calms me and i don't know why.

10. i was once addicted to thumbsucking. eew. haha.
--the reason for my braces.

back--for good...

2008-06-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

it's been two years since my last blog entry in my first account... but sadly, not even a single trace was left from that old account--all the more reason for me to start anew. this blog will take you on a twisted tour in my twisted existence.

this is my diary on cyberspace...this is my haven...a space where i can vent all my insanities and frustrations... hope you find something in it in which you can relate...

it's nice to be finally back...