Blessed To Be A Blessing

i have been so blessed this past week that it's just too hard to keep it to myself. i came to Youth With a Mission (YWAM) with a lot of questions and the desire to experience God in a way i never had before. and i tell you, God does go beyond our expectations and the Discipleship Training Week is more than enough proof for it. if at first, i wasn't sure why God has brought me there, now i know, it is to know Him deeper and walk with Him closer.

each lecture (hearing God's voice, worship, intercession, fear of the Lord, father heart of God, relationships, pride and humility, faithfulness and how to study the bible) was like a piece of puzzle, being connected together to fit God's design of revealing Himself to us. the lectures have given me a deeper understanding of who God is, and who i am in His sight. he's my Lord and Savior, but more than that He's my Father and He loves me as his daughter, flaws and all. i have learned more about God in the 5 days i stayed there than my many years of being a christian (*11 years). i have learned that knowing God is more than just head knowledge, it is the passionate application of our faith, obedience to His call, and that is to make Him known.

i usually feel homesick whenever i'm away from my family, but miraculously, i've never felt an ounce of homesickness there at all. and it is because i have gained another family--God's one big happy family. everyone is just so approachable, always willing to listen and share their insights to my numerous questions. ate leah, ate mardie, ate merly, ate kit, kuya benjie, kuya jeron, kuya roland and ate dang were just some of the people that God used greatly in my life. i believe God speaks and sometimes, it is through people like them. and i'm happy to announce that my long time of praying for a discipler has been finally answered. i thank ate dang for such a great privilege to be my mentor. i thank God for every staff who inspires us to grow in our walk with Christ. i know that God is truly amazing because of people like them.

to my DTW classmates, you'll always be here in my heart. thank you for all the stories, the laughter and the fun times. we all have different backgrounds but God placed us together for a purpose. i never had my "nose bleed" so much for speaking in english whenever i try to start a conversation with my Korean classmates Eun Ji, Jun Young, Ate Mihee and Pastor Lim. haha. though i won't be able to mention all of your names, you are all special to me.

DTW has been a time for many firsts. first street evangelism, first time that God gave me the holy boldness to proclaim his revelation in isaiah 49 and my first large children's outreach. i know the angels are rejoicing for each soul that accepted Christ that day. the greatest gift i'll take from this whole week is the passion to "KNOW GOD AND MAKE HIM KNOWN." to plant one seed at a time. to have a bold heart to preach the gospel by which we were saved. it is the word of truth, and it has the power to bring life to those who hear it. we are part of a great commission, to proclaim the good news for the expansion of His kingdom. Isaiah 49 speaks to us that "it is not enough for us to be his servants...we are to be a light to the gentiles to the ends of the earth."

this is an unforgettable experience, a priceless experience of a lifetime. i hope someday God will lead me back to the YWAM and be adopted as their kid. thank you Lord for giving me the best week of my life!

I Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared to those who love Him."

"I will live to carry your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
I will give with the life that I'd been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your Name"

The Power of Your Name -- Lincoln Brewster

You need Jesus, my friend...we all do...

Lord Jesus, i need You. i confess that i am a sinner and that i have been running my life on my own and for myself. but i quit as of today. i believe that You died on the cross to pay for all my sins. i ask You to come into my life as my Lord and Savior. i humbly accept Your gift of eternal life. Please help me live my life Your way starting today. Lord, from now on, I'm Yours. Amen. If you followed that prayer and accepted Christ in your life, congratulations! You are now part of God's family and have been given eternal life...and this is the most important relationship there is.

kwento lang :)

one more week to go! pahinga na. haha :)

our most dreaded defense on business incubation wasn't as terrible as i thought it would be. in fact, ms. boq and her accountant were more than satisfied at the progress of our business for the past year. we were able to reach the required 20k net profit--an impossible feat if it weren't for God's grace.

kate finally gave our share from the earnings. and i could not believe the amount i got. haha. it was more than what i expected to receive. i remember telling myself a few years back kasi that i would open my own bank account before i graduate from college. and it did come true! haha. :) i was so happy when the teller handed me my bank passbook. all the hardwork paid off. ganun pala feeling when you receive your first hard-earned income--mapapangiting aso ka haha :) again, i owe it all to Him.

also had my last exam on taxation. pauso talaga yung prof ko, mala "are you smarter than a fifth grader" ang format ng exam. we were given three "cheats" -- save, copy and sagot ng nakararami. kamusta naman yun? :) anyways, i'm gonna miss taxation pati si atty. marc hahah :)

after the exams, all of us headed for the toga fitting. as i placed the toga on, it dawned on me na "oo nga, malapit na..." but i'm still at a point na i'm still not sure what God has in store for me in the future--yung specific plans nia. whatever it is, i just know i can count on Him. it won't do me any good if i worry about the future kaya nagpakasaya muna ko. haha. had lunch with my brothers at jack's loft. and one thing hasn't changed--i'm still their laughing stock. i always get teased for my big hands kasi and madz, yana and ate em even named my hands after "flash bomba" haha. ganun nila ko ka-love. :) i'm gonna miss them soooo much. haay...

night! :)

odd one out

had a very late dinner with my brothers at gerry's grill libis last night right after the comex awarding. kate, jena, madz and pam brought their boyfriends with them and so i felt like i was the odd one out. i ended up being their official photographer and the night's laughing stock. haha. but twas really fun. madz was kind enough to drive me and jena home. it was the first time in four years that someone from my college friends dropped by at our house. it has become a regular joke that i live far from civilization and last night i was able to prove them wrong. haha.

i made jena spend the night over at my house, finally! haha. a sleepover has been in our plans for a very long time and finally before mag-graduate nagawa din. :)

the following morning we went to Playground, our supplier in timog, to pick up our orders for the couple shirts. nakakabadtrip. we were there at around 11 a.m. and they finished our shirts at 8 p.m. the part that sucks the most is that we had to make our customers wait until the next day for our deliveries, eh hello?! valentines na by that time. buti nalang the staff at playground were apologetic naman so there was no use for kamalditahan on our part. haha. ang hirap magnegosyo. kaloka. but it was the best learning experience ever. and good news, we were able to reach a net of 20k which means pwede na kami grumaduate! thank you Lord! :)

so three more weeks to go, rehearsals na for grad. there are still tons of unfinished school work but i'm savoring every single minute doing it. i'm going to miss the pressure of making it to every deadline. for four years parang dun umikot ung buhay ko. haha. enough of the senti mode. haaay... so i guess this is good...night :)

Crazy Weekend

went to divi on a rainy friday afternoon with flip flops on. i didn't know that it was gonna rain that hard. my gosh. amputek. my feet had mud all over and kate was joking na parang lupa na yung paa ko kaya pwede na pagtaniman ng halaman. haha. super haggard and super pagod. but the night wasn't over for us yet. we were supposed to finish the web site we have to pass for our e-onine class but we ended up having a bible study instead. i did miss our "quality time" and it was the best moment to catch up. sumobra ata yung "catching up" kaya we barely had time to rest before waking up again at half past five in the morning to prepare for an early conference at the Asian Institute of Management.

i was disappointed when francis kong didn't show up for the event. bummer tlga. he was the only reason why i wanted to be there. i once heard him speak at one of our org's conference two years ago and i think he is one of the best motivational speakers around. nevertheless, the whole conference was still inspiring thanks to mr. rommel juan and professor jun bernardo of AIM. the conference wrapped up at around 1 in the afternoon. i was so drained after the event, tapos nagka-problem pa sa manufacturer ng couple shirts na business namin. kaloka.

pambawi nalang talaga pag sunday. one of my students in sunday school returned to church after two weeks. i was kinda depressed when he decided to attend another church kaya when i saw him para kong nabuhayan uli. the kids and i welcomed him back and i was like "awwww" when i heard him say "dito na lang ako" huhu. tears of joy :)

syempre my sunday won't be complete without going to camachile for our cell group. we started with a short devotion before going to our usual round of praying on the street. we talked about holding on to our mission of serving him amid discouragements and hardships. at the end of the day, what matters most is that we have followed his will. some of our attendees weren't able to show up during our session but God sent 9 new comers in their place. we studied "you are not an accident," the second chapter of the purpose driven life. one soul accepted Christ. i bet the angels are rejoicing in heaven. and God was probably smiling too. :)

and ok na uli kami. so that's the best part. everything i've been through this whole week became more bearable. :)

p.s. i'm feeling a little bit groggy because i've been putting junk into my system this past week, i've been all over fast food joints for breakfast, lunch and even dinner. i need super colon cleanse. haha :)

nytie :)

"The Talk"

i recently "re-connected" with my former classmate from my antipolo high school. we never really clicked back then because i found him mayabang, mahangin etc... (at ako daw masungit. haha) it was only last year when we both found out we're christians and so it made it easier for us to talk. i'm just amazed at what God has been doing in him for the past years. he's part of an organization called the180degrees which is a group of young people from different evangelical churches formed to do missions through music. check out http://www.the180degrees.org/ for more info.

they've done uber cool stuff like mission trips to Japan and other countries. and this year, he invited me to the launching of their band to be held at gcf marikina. all these, he was juggling with bible school and a course on i.t. how on earth could anyone do that?! i'm sure God makes these all possible for Him.

but something in the conversation struck me the most. he asked me what my course was and if i had any plans of entering the ministry. so, i told him it was entrepreneurship and that my course was a far cry from what i'd be doing if ever i go into ministry. and he replied...

HINDI.

and then he went on talking about Moses and his staff. he said Moses was a shepherd for 40 years before God called him (that staff sure came in handy within those years). When Moses questioned God on how will he be able to lead them out of Egypt, God asked him: "what is in your hands" and to it Moses replied, "a staff".

he continued by saying that the staff symbolizes Moses' work as a shepherd. same thing with our lives. God can use us as is--who we are and what we are. whether we're doctors, businessmen, students etc. God can make use of our jobs, positions and circumstance to make Him known. we just have to pray for ways to stretch out our influence for Him.

i was dumbfounded because i never really thought of it that way. i have this notion that entering the ministry means giving up everything. maybe God has other plans. i still don't know. i'm still waiting. but i know it wasn't a coincidence that led us to that talk. i'm just happy i found another brother in Christ who inspires me to step out of my comfort zone and pursue greater and Godly things in life. *so thank you, mr. quevedo :)*

Jericho March

it's amazing to see God's plan unfold right before our eyes. my youth mates and i spent the entire afternoon roaming the streets of Camachile (near Ciudad Grande) in groups of two to pray for God's revival in that area. we're no bigshot evangelists nor missionaries but we believe we can conquer that place for Him through our secret weapon -- prayer.

the original plan was just to dedicate the place for Him but, through His grace, we were able to have our first breakthrough. God opened one of our youth's relative's house for the group to share the word. five teens joined the gathering and sharie led the group in studying life's most meaningful relationship. we then broke up into pairs to pray for the newcomers.

i had the wonderful opportunity to talk to one of the newcomers about her relationship with Christ. she told me she had accepted Christ long before but has become sidetracked with all of life's busyness that she seldom had time for Him. deep in my heart i felt a certain kind of sadness that she was not able to grow in her faith deeper. but i believe God has set that time for her to recommit her life to Him--and that is all that matters.

i'm blown away by how He has worked during that entire afternoon. surely, our bodies were tired but our spirits were more than refreshed. it was our group's first taste at the harvest field and i pray that He'd continue to bless His work in us (and all of His workers). To God be ALL the glory!

P.S. They all promised to attend church with us this Sunday. :)

Help us pray for the harvest field...

an inquisition of faith

i went to school for a mock job interview this morning. i was feeling quite tense in a way because i don't like interviews of any kind. i entered room 207 and sat on the empty seat across the interviewer. he greeted me with a warm smile and then began the "interrogation."

i thought the interview would be purely about career stuff but it turned out to be more like a discourse on faith. i was bombarded with questions like: do you believe in hell?, do atheists who perform good things still go to hell?, if i meet a Buddhist, will i try to convert him?. i didn't want to sound as if i was lecturing on the topic but i did tell him about the great commission and how people no matter how good they are are still condemned if they don't receive Christ as their personal Lord and Savior.

here was a man of his late twenties asking a young girl about faith. i felt compassion for his soul and i wanted very badly to make him understand how it is like to have Christ in his life but his wall of defense was up. he said there are many bad things brought about by religion today. i felt unsatisfied about how our conversation ended but i believe it is up to God to talk to Him. i really wished we were in a different situation. there is nothing i can do but to pray for that special time when salvation will be upon his life.

i remember praying hours before the inteview for Him to use me in any way He sees fit. and when i think about the events of this morning, i can't help but be astounded by the way He answered my prayer. i know i haven't done much for Him by the way things turned out but i hope i have sown a seed in the heart of that man for him to seek God.

help me pray for him, please...

Romans 8:37

sometimes, i find it hard to hear from God. i feel as though i am not worthy for Him to even speak to me. i feel a certain distance from Him eventhough i talk to Him all day long. but i have realized that it is my feeling of inadequacy that is creating the gap between us. he wants to talk to me, but my heart is not prepared to listen. he has proven this point consistently through this past week.

--flashback--

we were asked by our youth president, sharie, to think of our youth group's theme for this year during our personal devotion time. every night i would read sections from Joyce Meyer's book, "In Pursuit of Peace" for my devotion. i came upon this verse, Romans 8:37 which says, "Amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him who loved us." i immediately typed it on my fone for reference.

again, my feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness was taking its effect on me. at the back of my mind, i was having doubts whether He wants that verse for our youth's theme. so i just continued to pray for it.

i really had no plans of telling sharie about the verse. come saturday, i found myself blurting out the verse to her. and it was amazing how God confirmed to her that it was to be our youth's theme for this year.

when i meditate on that verse, i begin to trust God more deeply. the world says that 2009 will be a hard year for all of us but God says in His word that we are victorious conquerors through Him who loved us. i gain a sense of peace that whatever this world throws at me, i have a God who will cover me by His hands and will save me. the world creates fear in our hearts but God's word banishes all the fear away.

i know it's not that easy to surrender everything to Him but i believe His grace is sufficient in every area of our life. trusting God requires a bold step in our part. only when we take this step of faith will we see God's ultimate work unfold in our lives.

Good night!