Beginning in an End

i spent the whole night writing letters to everyone in our youth group. as i was writing, i was reminded of how 21 months of my term have passed so quickly. i remember how unprepared my heart and mind was when i was "pushed" into that position. i was overwhelmed with the fear that i am not good enough and that i won't be able to perform the duties the job requires. in my mind, it was all about working to meet everyone's expectations. little did i know that God was transforming my man-pleasing heart. He was consistent in telling me that it's not about getting the approval of people or hearing their accolade for a job well done that matters, it's about pleasing him and making him smile.

i must admit that i have made a lot of mistakes and there are some things i wish i would have done differently. but, i am sure we have learned a lot as a team and as brothers and sisters in Christ. together, we took little steps to gradual maturity in our walk with Him. together, we have seen God moving powerfully to provide, bless, perform miracles and change lives. it was in a sense a "roller-coaster ride."

they are more than just random people--they are my family. and serving them has been the greatest privilege He has given me. i hope i have touched their lives just as they have touched mine. in that short span of time, i have learned a lot more about myself, His ministry, their lives and the greatness of the God we are serving. i have also realized the importance of working as a team and acknowledging that our success is all about Him. i know God is not yet finished in molding each of our lives. I believe He has great plans for our youth and He will use Sharie mightily in our group.

As i always say, this is just the start...

Time to Party!

spent my whole friday with my college friends at kate's house and then at ate em's place in eastwood excelsior for a christmas party. special bonding time with the girls. went around eastwood and the newly opened eastwood mall taking pics. :) definitely a night to remember.

---

our church christmas party was held this afternoon. weeks of prep for the games and dance routine finally paid off. haha. twas our youth group's first (and last?) attempt at dancing. ayaw pa nila magsayaw nung una kong sinabi yung plan, pero f na f naman nung tapos na haha. i'm so proud of them. :)

kuya george and i hosted the party. super fun games with tons of prizes. the best yung hep hep hooray--aswcc style. i remember sharie saying na kinakabahan siya haha. didn't get a chance to participate in any of the games, and yung kaisa-isang gusto kong salihan, ung hit the pot (in our case, hit the newspaper haha) inunahan ako ni currie sa line (dinaan sa height) and xa ung nanalo. hahaha. am such a loser tuloy. pero ok lang. everyone enjoyed naman. but a part of me is still sad. hmmm. next year uli! :)

Busy Bee

what a week! so stressed out from juggling work at our MC bazaar, reviewing for prelim exams on taxation and business ethics, and add to that planning the games, decorations and presentation for our church christmas party.

---sunday---
our youth group answered a spirtual gift inventory for our discipleship group and the results were shocking haha... there are future pastors, teachers and (a) missionary pala among the bunch. the test was made just to give them an idea on what their spiritual gifts are. am praying that God will confirm the results of that test to them in a most personal way. any calling is a very serious matter.

---tuesday---
my groupmates in business practicum and i joined a 5 day bazaar at our campus. we sold all kinds of food from kwek-kwek, turon, chicken fingers, rice balls, coke float -- you name it! we have to earn a net of 20 thousand kasi before graduation as part of our requirement and i dunno know how in the world will we be able to do it. haha. my whole barkada were very supportive. they bought lunch and snacks from us the whole week to help us earn (*sweet*). super kapagod but it was all worth it. we also had a blast drinking minute maid samples for the nth round kasi the promoters kept on dropping by at our booth. haha. :)

---monday---
SJE gives back. as part of our org's outreach for Sanggu's One Big Party, we gave out free stuff to kids from our partner community. seeing how happy these kids were at the simple gifts we had for them is priceless. this is one of our most meaningful and memorable Christmas's ever.

---tuesday---
sir mark brought 4 boxes of gonuts donuts for the whole class after our exam on taxation. gwapo na sweet pa. haha. yumyum (nung donuts, hindi si sir -- lols. :)

---today---
so there, that was two weeks worth of kwento. today is officially the start of our christmas break! yey! have two christmas parties in line and a very special christmas dinner with my travel buddies. can't wait!

Freaky--Cool

i found something PRETTY COOL (freaky--cool) in my bestfriend's profile so i tried it out (halatang bored :D). the results are both freaky and cool coz it literally talks about what you are going through at the moment. the part which says that i wish to be left in peace says it all haha. go try the din (bez, pagaya hehe).

My Colorgenics test result:

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

i tried the test for the second time and voila it still says something quite true at the moment. (intrigued? -- go check out the site)

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. These emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care. Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.

Time Out

one of my friends told me that i've changed--i'm not as gentle, soft spoken and patient with them as i was before. maybe i've grown tired of tolerating everything they do. i don't keep my feelings to myself anymore. maybe i'm just sick of being such a pushover. i've had enough.

but...

i don't know if i like myself anymore--the insecure-workaholic-choleric type.

maybe what i need is to take some time off. get away from everything. find myself in Him. and be who He wants me to be.